The Doctor's Hand
by Like the Orange Drink
Summary: In this scene set just after the T.A.R.D.I.S. departs Bad Wolf Bay in Journey’s End, the “human” Doctor attempts to explain the “original” Doctor’s actions as well as gain Rose’s trust and acceptance.


The Doctor's Hand

The sound of the T.A.R.D.I.S. had faded. The repetitive lap of the waves, the murmur of Jackie on the phone, and an occasional cry of a seabird swirled in the wind at Bad Wolf Bay.

The Doctor and Rose heard none of it. They saw nothing but the face of the other. Perhaps those familiar eyes would give a hint as to how to be, what to say, what to do next.

The Doctor thought of something first. Looking down at their still clasped hands, then back up to Rose's face, the Doctor allowed a grin to reach his eyes. "Run!"

But instead of smiling back as the Doctor had expected, Rose stiffened and pulled her hand away to cover her face. "What did I do?" she moaned. "If he'd only finished that sentence, I'da been kissin' _him_ instead of . . ." She looked up and shouted at the place where the T.A.R.D.I.S. last stood, "Yes, it needed saying!"

She turned away, looking toward the water. "Or maybe, he just never did---" she broke off tearfully.

The Doctor reached a hand toward Rose's shoulder, changed his mind, and instead let it fall awkwardly to his side. "Yes, he did. Still does. I _know_ he does, Rose. Same memories, same thoughts, same . . ." he swallowed, "feelings. If hedidn't, I couldn't. And I _do_."

The tenderness in his voice made Rose turn and search his face once more. "Then why leave me here? You don't really need lookin' after that badly, do ya?"

Ignoring the second question, the Doctor said softly, "He couldn't bear to watch you die."

"But I'm not gonna---"

"Sooner or later, you would. Canary Wharf made him realize that there are some things even he's not strong enough to endure. Watching you fall toward the Void about ripped m-, his hearts out." Tears filled his eyes as he remembered. "He didn't want to live on and on with the memory of your death lodged in his brain. He wanted to remember you alive and happy."

"Happy?!" she spat out the word.

The Doctor shrugged, "I suppose he thought there was a chance, with your family. . . with me."

Rose looked at the sand.

"Rose, I know you're not sure of me, but for me, this is just like any other regeneration." He put a hand on his chest. "Well, almost." He straightened and let his hand fall to his side. "In any case, I know who I am. I'm the Doctor."

"If that's so, how can you stand it?" She nodded to the place where the T.A.R.D.I.S. wasn't.

"Ah! Glad you asked," he said enthusiastically. "Despite being stranded on this parallel planet of the apes, I have two very good reasons for being my characteristically brilliant and optimistic self. One---I have you."

Rose blushed and dropped her gaze.

"And 'b'," the Doctor continued hurriedly, "I have this." He reached into his pocket and presented his open hand to Rose with a flourish.

"You've lost the universe, but a bit of pink rock makes you happy?"

"Pink rock?" he said, offended. "Look again."

"Alright, pink coral then." Understanding seeped in. She gasped, "You nicked a bit of the T.A.R.D.I.S.?!"

"I most certainly did not! Donna slipped it into my pocket when the Doctor wasn't looking. She gave me a fantastic idea for accelerating its growth, too. We should have our own T.A.R.D.I.S. in just a few years."

"You're going to grow your own T.A.R.D.I.S.?" asked Rose, her mouth hanging open just a little.

"If you help me."

Rose smiled.

The Doctor smiled back. He put the piece of coral carefully back in his pocket.

"Now, Rose Tyler, I realize you may not be up for any running just yet, but I would strongly suggest we at least walk that way for awhile," he said, pointing inland. "If I'm not mistaken, and I rarely am, the tide is coming in. And there's nothing worse than soggy trainers," he said dramatically.

"Ooh, except maybe _one _soggy trainer." He took a few lopsided steps. "Step, squish, step, squish."

Rose laughed, "Maybe you won't be so different."

The Doctor beamed and reached out his right hand. Rose was just about to take hold when the Doctor suddenly jerked his hand away and began to examine it closely.

"You know what? I've just thought of something. You, Rose Tyler, have held this hand before!" He pointed to his right hand with his left.

"Er-, right Doctor. About ten minutes ago."

"No-, no-no, no, no, no! Long before that. The first time you saw me regenerate. You weren't sure of me then either," he said, his voice slightly scolding. "So I took your hand in mine and reminded you of the first word I ever said to you."

"I remember," Rose said quietly. "But that was with him, the other Doctor."

"Well, yes. But it was _this_ hand." The Doctor wiggled his fingers. "The Sycorax cut it off, it fell to Earth, Jack found it and preserved it in a jar---"

"What?!"

"--- I- the Doctor I mean- took it from Jack, stored the extra regeneration energy in it, Donna touched it, and here I am!" the Doctor concluded triumphantly. "It's the same hand!"

Rose went very still and looked thoughtfully at the Doctor. Then she reached out and cradled the Doctor's right hand in both of hers. She lifted it close and laid her cheek against the back of it.

The Doctor held his breath.

Finally, Rose straightened and lowered the Doctor's hand, but did not let go. She looked up at him and grinned. "Run!"


End file.
